Equality and fairness in the Military: More Combat deaths for women and minorities

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.

Robert F. Kennedy

Colonel Mike Copenhayer while not technically an “operator” he has spent a lot of time in SOF units screwing up awards, losing promotion packets and generally making it as difficult as possible for the guy on the tip of the spear to do his job.

As the personnel officer who has been the J1 at the Joint Special Operations Command, G1 at the US Army Special Operations Command, he has made life exceedingly difficult for a huge percentage of all Special Operations Force soldiers.

Not satisfied with only a “huge percentage” Colonel Copenhayer recently wrote “The Integration of Minorities into Special Operations: How Cultural Diversity Enhances Operations” while attending United States Army War College.

After Military.com and USA Today picked up the story it created a firestorm that erupted throughout the halls of power. The Armed Services committee commissioned a report from the Congressional Research Service which highlighted with cold hard numbers the institutional inequality and lack of diversity within the armed forces.

Vowing to fix this inequality a bi-partisan agreement was reached and a new law was passed, late last night. General Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has ordered all women and minorities regardless of branch to immediately report to Afghanistan. These new replacements, will immediately replace all front line combat troops who are privileged, white males.

The reports shocking discovery showed that although 63.7% of America is white 85% of deaths in Afghanistan, and 82.6% in Iraq were white males.

Even worse while according to the U.S. Census bureau 49% of Americans are female but females only made up 2.1% of casualties for Afghanistan, and a slightly higher, 2.5% for Iraq.

Senator Dianne Feinstein immediately stated “This casualty inequality, cannot stand.”

General Dempsey told Hit the Woodline in a phone interview today, “We know from all of our classified studies, that we don’t release, that women do not have the ability to carry the average infantry load.”

“This actually really works well for us though. Starting now, we will not issue women any body armor, so they can more easily maneuver on the enemy and patrol in the mountains.” He continued “without the extra weight of the body armor we are sure to quickly close this unfair gender casualty gap.”

General Dempsey highlighted and explained a new unit. “Due to this massive inequality chasm, specifically the gender casualty gap, we will make special, highly mobile units who can be sent to wherever the fighting happens to be the most vicious and brutal.” These shock troops will be made up of black and Hispanic women only.”

“This is really good, every minority woman who gets killed actually counts for two spaces on this spreadsheet that gets sent to me twice a day.”

The spokesman for the Joint Chiefs of Staff said “we have to get 3,170 women killed, in order to make it fair. Hopefully we can accomplish this in a few months.